Ravings of the Loquacious Madman

• All beings in the universe speak and understand English
• Little green men are not, in fact, green, but actually grey
• No matter how powerful the alien enemy, C4 can destroy anything
• When in doubt, ask Dr. Samantha Carter
• Archeologists can read and understand any language in the universe
• Bullets are the greatest weapon invention ever, trumping lasers and plasma bursts
• Every meteor shower is really an alien invasion
• Evil alien parasites are not only stupid, but arrogant as well
• The pyramids were built by humans under the direction of symbiotic hosts
• If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago
• When captured by the enemy, always have a witty retort to piss off your captors
• Magnets are the answer to every unexplained phenomenon
• When traveling to distant worlds, try not to blow up their sun
• If your Lego’s start walking around on their own, shoot them
• Things that involuntarily attach themselves to your head are probably bad
• Dell laptops can interface with any device, alien or otherwise
• Windows is used throughout the universe
• When time is against you, there will always be some sort of technical malfunction preventing your escape
• Hooking up with a strange alien when you first meet him/her will age you badly
• When the time comes, always cut the green one
• A scientist’s intelligence is directly inverse to the amount of time he has to come up with the answer before everybody dies
• If a person’s eyes glow, shoot them
• The federal budget will always be unbalanced by approximately $7.2 billion
• You can save the world over and over, but you still have to pay taxes
• Deep space telemetry is the coolest job in the world
• The young do not always do as they are told
• Never ever put a Jaffa and a Tok’ra in the same room without supervision
• The word kree has multiple distinct, sometimes contradictory meanings
• If it has worked fine for millennia, always try to upgrade it to work more efficiently.  What could go wrong? 

Bowling For Soup 2002

Sail away, sail away with me
I don’t have a ship
But we could get one easily
Drift away, drift away with me
On the raft we’ll make of memories
On an ocean we can call forever more

I want to find
A piece of your mind
I want to see
Your make believe
I don’t want to try so hard
I make it hard for you to breathe

Jump into the ocean
Living on a notion
If you’re caught up in the motion
Back track and do it again
And if you make it up
I could never get enough
Me and you together
But you’ve gotta tell me where to begin

Break away, break away from me
No forget that, just sit here and look at me
Summer’s day
Summer every day
And we watch the sunset come back up
And somehow know it never goes back down

I want to find
A piece of your mind
I want to see
Your make believe
I don’t want to try so hard
I make it hard for you to breathe

Jump into the ocean
Living on a notion
If you’re caught up in the motion
Back track and do it again
And if you make it up
I could never get enough
Me and you together
But you’ve gotta tell me where to begin

I’ve been saving up to buy more time with you
You’ve been living it up with someone else
And that’s okay with me
Because I know it and you know it too

Jump into the ocean
Living on a notion
If you’re caught up in the motion
Back track and do it again
And if you make it up
I could never get enough
Me and you together
But you’ve gotta tell me where to begin

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

2 large artichokes

1 lemon

2 cloves garlic, minced

2-3 basil leaves, chopped

1-2 tablespoons olive oil

Sea salt and fresh cracked pepper, to taste

1/2 cup, chicken stock

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. With kitchen scissors, trim all the sharp ends off of each leaf. Wash the artichoke well in cool water. Slice down the center to form two halves. Clean out all the fuzzy hairs and smaller leaves with a spoon then immediately rub all the cut areas with a lemon.
Next combine the olive oil, basil, minced garlic, lemon juice, sea salt and fresh cracked pepper in a bowl. Mix until it becomes a paste. I rubbed it all over the artichoke halves and inside the leaves. Coat the baking dish with olive oil cooking spray. Place each artichoke half top side down in a baking dish. Pour the chicken stock in the dish and cover with a lid or tin foil. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until soft and tender. Enjoy!

SR-71 2002

Make this moment last forever and a day
Watching you drive by
Not letting you drive away
Can’t you see me trying to wave you down tonight
Cause I need to see you one more time

You’ll be there in my mind
In my dreams you can hide
And every night I’m gonna bring you back to life
There in my mind
An angel bathed in light
Telling me everything’s gonna be alright
If I can fall asleep tonight

Lonely is the feeling I can’t comprehend
So I’m skipping to the last page to see how this will end
Can’t you see me trying to wave you down tonight
Cause I need to see you one more time

You’ll be there in my mind
In my dreams you can hide
And every night I’m gonna bring you back to life
There in my mind
An angel bathed in light
Telling me everything’s gonna be alright

Have you ever felt so helpless
The walls built to protect us
Suddenly are gone
And you hate everything that’s breathing
The life you’re used to cheating
Has finally caught on

You’ll be there in my mind
In my dreams you can hide
And every night I’m gonna bring you back to life
There in my mind
Standing just to my right
Telling me everything’s gonna be alright
Yeah, everything’s gonna be alright
Oh, I know, everything’s gonna be alright
If I can just fall asleep…

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.